Saturday, January 30, 2010

Another Therapy Post

I'm back again.

I briefly talked about friends in the last email. I need to figure out how to let past hurts go and move on. I need to figure out how to not have a knee jerk hurt reaction when I hear about these past friends. I need to be able to be confident enough in my choices to know that this is what's best for my family.

I know this is what's best. I didn't like who I was when I hung out with them. I didn't like how they made me feel. I felt uninvolved, not wanted, and put up with. I felt like I was pitied. That's such a horrible feeling. I felt like I was only invited because I was friends with someone else, not because I was actually wanted. Funny part about it is that now that I'm not friends with that one person, nobody calls me. Nobody contacts me. Nobody wants anything to do with me. It kind of reaffirms my thoughts and fears.

I made the decision to cut these people completely out of my life. They're not on my facebook, I don't have phone numbers, etc. I just decided cold turkey. The problem? One specific person is still friends with some of my friends/my sister. I still see comments, etc from this person and every time I do, it hurts. I wish that she wanted to be my friend. Part of me feels like I'm a pre-teen again, hoping for people to want to be my friend.

I guess a part of growing up is getting over stuff like this so I just need to do it. I need to stop letting it bother me. I am a wonderful person and it's not my problem that they don't want to be my friend. I am better off without them, and I don't need them in my life.


Kellin Smith said...

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We're getting the word out to some local bloggers, and would like to send you a free bookoo t-shirt (no strings attached!). If you would like a free t-shirt, will you send me an email at with your address and shirt size? I'll get it out to you right away!

Check out the website: