Monday, February 9, 2009


I don't know if this will actually get published or if it will make any sense but I just need to vent.

I'm in a horrible mood and have been for a while. My hormones are all jacked up; my body is all jacked up; I'm stressed; I'm not sleeping well and I know I'm not eating well. Combine those all together and it makes a very unhappy me. To top it off, I'm tired of living at home.

I love being here. I love being close to my family and I love being able to spend time with them but I am ready to be out on my own. I'm tired of being here and not having my own space. I'm tired of my shit being used. I'm tired of not being able to use the bathroom when I want to. I'm tired of having to cook for a ton of people. I'm tired of my kids being looked at as a pain in the ass because they're being kids. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of other people trying to tell my kids how to behave. I'm tired. I'm just tired.

I don't know how to fix this, either. It's not like I can go out and get a job and go to school and be a single mom. Yeah, I can't do that. I know that living at home is a temporary thing but at the same time, I've been here for 2 freaking years, and I'm ready to be on my own.

Okay, another tangent to vent about. I have no friends here. I have friends, and I love every single one of them, but I have no friends here. My boyfriend lives 2 freaking states away, my best friend lives on the other side of the county. I am tired of having the people close to me not be the people I want to be close to me. I am tired of being alone in a house full of people.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I am damn ready to be feeling better. I'm tired of feeling like shit. I'm ready to be back me.