Friday, November 9, 2007

I hate Dreams

Wednesday Ex's Gma drove down so we could go see some of their family. I took the boys and we had a good time. I told ex-gma about K because I knew it would get back to Ex and I'm pretty non-confrontational when it comes to everything. He called me Wednesday night and had an attitude with me asking me about K. Then he said "it's okay, I have been dating someone too." Yes I knew about this but I wanted to hear it from him. That night I had a horrible dream that S (his g/f) was a huge witch and was trying to get R to call her mommy and told him that I wasn't his mommy anymore.

I know why I'm having these dreams and they make sense to my head but to my heart I'm terrified. I'm terrified that R will like her better than me and want to live up with Ex and S. I know it makes no sense but if I lost my boys, I would wither and die. I love my boys with every fiber of my being and I can't imagine my life without them.