Thursday, September 4, 2008


Well apparently I was worrying over my date for nothing. Apparently he really likes me. How do I trust that?

I hate being so scared but damn it, I'm tired. I'm tired of giving my heart, just to have it ripped away and stomped on. I hate being so afraid. I wish I was like I used to be, giving my heart freely but times have changed. I'm older, I have been through 2 heartbreaks (major ones) and I have 2 little boys who are confused as hell because of all of it.

He (we'll call him B) doesn't know how serious K and I were. He doesn't know that we were going to get married. He does know I was living with him but he doesn't know the rest. I'm guessing he can assume but he doesn't know for sure.

Part of me wants to believe him and wants to believe it when he says he really likes me but the other part is going "yeah right." In my head I'm thinking why me? Why am I this lucky? I told him he just has to let me take it the way I want to and I'll be okay.

I guess we'll see what happens, right?